Its hard to say exactly why you like someone.
有时，大家非常难讲清为何会喜欢某个人。
Maybe its their goofy smile; maybe its their razor-sharp wit; or maybe its simply that theyre easy to be around.
或许是由于他们憨厚可爱的笑容；或许是由于他们的聪慧机敏；或许仅仅只不过由于他们非常不错相处。
But scientists generally arent satisfied with answers like that, and theyve spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.
但科学家们并不满足于这个答案，于是他们花费了数年来研究到底是什么原因将人与人联系在了一块。
Below, weve rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.
下面，大家大全了一些他们的有趣发现。阅读过后，你可能会对自己现阶段的友情产生新的认识，或许这篇文章将帮你飞速打造更好的人际关系。
1. Copy the person youre with
模仿他们
This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another persons behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
这一办法被叫做镜像模仿，也就是模仿他们的行为。在你与别人交谈的过程中，试着模仿他们的肢体语言、小动作和表情。
In 1999, New York University researchers documented the chameleon effect, which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each others behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.
1999年，纽约大学的研究员就曾证明过 “变色龙效应”——当双方下意识地模仿他们的行为时，会增加相互间的好感。
Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners either mimicked the other participants behavior or didnt, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.
研究职员让72位男女分别与一位搭档组成一组，合作完成任务。搭档则在研究员的需要下选择模仿或者不模仿参与者的动作。同时，研究员用录像机记录整个过程。在互动结束后，参与者被需要表示出对搭档的喜欢程度。
Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.
果然，当搭档模仿参与者动作时，更容易获得参与者的好感。
2. Compliment other people
称赞别人
People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. this phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.
在谈话中，大家总是会将他们描述其他人的词汇与他们的个人品质联系在一块。这一现象被叫做“自发特质移情”。
If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.
假如你把另一个人描述为真诚和善良，他们也会觉得你是真诚和善良的。反之亦然：假如你总与你的朋友在背后说其他人的坏话，你的朋友会觉得你也具备相同的特点。
3. Try to display positive emotions
展示积极的情绪
Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.
情绪是会传染的，大家的心情深受别人情绪的影响。俄亥俄大学和夏威夷大学的一篇研究论文表明，大家会无意识地感知到周围的情绪。
The authors of the paper say thats possibly because we naturally mimic others movements and facial expressions, which in turn makes us feel something similar to what theyre feeling.
论文的作者说，这非常大程度上是由于大家自然而然地会模仿别人的动作和表情，所以对别人的情绪也能感同身受。
If you want to make others feel happy when theyre around you, do your best to communicate positive emotions.
假如你想叫你周围的人快乐，就努力展示积极的情绪吧。
4. Reveal your flaws from time to time
偶尔暴露我们的缺点
According to the pratfall effect, people will like you more after you make a mistake — but only if they believe you are a competent person. Revealing that you arent perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you.
依据“仰巴脚效应”，对于出色的人来讲，一些微小的失误会增加其他人对他们的好感，由于展示出不完美的一面会让他们与其他人愈加亲近。
Researcher Elliot Aronson asked male students from the University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of people taking a quiz.
研究员Elliot Aronson邀请了几位来自明尼苏达大学的男同学参与试验，需要他们收听一段测验时的录音。
When people did well on the quiz but spilled coffee at the end of the interview, the students rated them higher on likability than when they did well on the quiz and didnt spill coffee or didnt do well on the quiz and spilled coffee.
实验结果表明，男同学们更喜欢那些虽然笔试成绩出色，但在应聘的最后阶段弄洒咖啡的人，而不是那些笔试应聘都完美无缺、或者表现都不好的人。
5. Casually touch them
不时进行身体接触
Subliminal touching occurs when you touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include tapping someones back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more warmly toward you.
当你在他们几乎没发现的状况下，轻轻地触碰他们时，就发生了下意识触碰。容易见到的例子有：轻拍别人的背部或者手臂，让他们感觉到温暖和亲近。
A University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment studied the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, and had some waitresses briefly touch customers on the hand or shoulder as they were returning their change. As it turns out, those waitresses earned significantly larger tips than the ones who didnt touch their customers.
密西西比大学和罗德学院拓展了一项实验，让餐厅的一些员工在找零的时候轻碰客户的手或者肩膀，从而研究肢体接触会不会对小费有影响。结果表明，进行身体接触的员工得到的小费远高于其它职员。
6. Display a sense of humor
展示你的幽默感
Research from Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that, regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor was really important.
伊利诺伊州立大学和加利福尼亚州立大学的研究员发现，大家心中的理想朋友或伴侣都常见具备一个要紧特质，那就是幽默。
A study from researchers at DePaul University and Illinois State University found that using humor when youre first getting to know someone can make the person like you more.
一个由德保尔大学和伊利诺伊州立大学拓展的研究发现，在首次见面时展示出幽默感的人会给他们留下非常不错的印象。
In fact, the study suggested that participating in a humorous task can increase romantic attraction.
事实上，这一研究发现一些有趣的活动（譬如蒙住双眼，在他们的指导下跳舞）总是可以使异性之间相互吸引。
7. See the other person how they want to be seen
以他们期待的方法来看待他们
People want to be perceived in a way that aligns with their own beliefs about themselves. This phenomenon is described by self-verification theory. We all seek confirmations of our views, positive or negative.
每一个人都期望别人对我们的怎么看和自己对我们的怎么看是一致的。这一现象被叫做“自我验证理论”。无论评价是积极还是消极，大家时时刻刻都在寻求外面对自己想法的认可。
For a series of studies at Stanford University and the University of Arizona, participants with positive and negative perceptions of themselves were asked whether they wanted to interact with people who had positive or negative impressions of them.
斯坦福大学和亚利桑那大学拓展了的一系列的有关研究，将参与者分为自我评价较高和较低的两部分，并询问这两组人更喜欢与赞美他们的人交往还是批评他们的人交往。
The participants with positive self-views preferred people who thought highly of them, while those with negative self-views preferred critics. This could be because people like to interact with those who provide feedback consistent with their known identity.
自我评价较高的人喜欢赞美他们的人，然而对自己有负面评价的人更喜欢批评他们的人。这是由于每一个人都爱与和自己想法一致的人相处。
8. Tell them a secret
推荐秘密
Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.
自我坦白可能是打造友谊最好的方法。
You can try this technique on your own as youre getting to know someone. For example, you can build up from asking easy questions to learning about the people who mean the most to them in life.
你可以在和他们第一次见面的时候试一试这个方法。你可以先问一些简单的问题（譬如他们上次看的电影）来认识什么事物在他们日常占据着要紧的地方。
When you share intimate information with another person, they are more likely to feel closer to you and want to confide in you in the future.
当你与别人推荐私人信息时，他们会感觉与你愈加亲近，并会愈加信任你。
9. Show that you can keep their secrets, too
守旧秘密
Two experiments led by researchers at the University of Florida, Arizona State University, and Singapore Management University found that people place a high value on both trustworthiness in their relationships.
佛罗里达大学、亚利桑那大学和新加坡管理大学的几位研究者发现，大家非常看重人际关系中的信誉。
This trait proved especially important when people were imagining their ideal friend and ideal employee.
信誉也是大家理想中朋友和职员的一大要紧特质。
10. Let them talk about themselves
让他们尽情地谈论自己
Harvard researchers recently discovered that talking about yourself may be inherently rewarding, the same way that food, money, and sex are.
来自哈佛的研究员近期发现谈论自己本身就是一件对自我有益的事情，就像食物、资金和性一样。
In other words, letting someone share a story or two about their life instead of blabbing about yours could give them more positive memories of your interaction.
也就是说，大家应该让他们多推荐我们的故事，而不是滔滔不绝地讲我们的事情。前者更能给他们留下好印象。
